The Daily Grind Day 15: Me Vs. Writer's block

So I’ve basically stared at the same blank word document for 2 hours trying to produce something meaningful and whimsical for you lovely folks today, instead I’ve come across one of the worst cases of writers block I’ve had in a long, long while.

 

                What causes writers block? See: http://www.writing-world.com/basics/block1.shtml Really good article there, and now I take some of that advice while I fight my own, inability to know what to write.

 

So ,my friends, what do I write about now with you folks? I can’t see anything that I’m typing and I’m just going off now with any word that comes to mind to bring out on this paper and to your eyes. It’s currently 11:19pm PST and I’m listening to Atmosphere “hope” This song is phenomenal from a written standpoint. It’s actually uplifting in lyrics, and I listen to it anytime I need to be uplifted just a little.

 

Today I reflected on friendships and what they mean to me and how they can change, go away, or develop into something new all together, I have made and lost a lot of friends over my lifetime. I lost a good friend to the jail system and just stopped writing to him, which is disheartening some days knowing that I let such a good friendship fall to the wayside, but really how good of a friendship was it?  Was I enabling him or him me? I don’t know, probably never will.

 

There are friendships I have ended because that person broke my trust, I hate losing friends but it’s a must sometimes . I have strict guidelines for friends and if I can’t trust you then you’re gone. Sorry but it’s the way it goes.

 

There are other people that I will be great friends with until the end of my time at least, and those people will know who they are. If you think it’s you well you’re probably right.

 

I lost my train of thought again, and off I go rambling back to the paper again, freewriting/blind writing scheme that I’m going on and just trying to get the words out so that I may be able to focus on what’s really necessary again. I need a moment of clarity, so that I can see what it is that I’m supposed to write about on a daily basis,, I doubt that it’s going to be that easy, nothing’s that easy.

I’ve got 34 minutes before I have to make this post, and yes folks you are getting me fighting writers block as today’s post so you can see what I go through in my head to try and bring you a post on the daily.

 

Now thoughts that will probably keep me out of good schools for my lifetime.

Why does Swiss cheese  have holes?

Why is money valuable? Money is oriented on paper, and paper isn’t worth what the value that we print on it is. Then why is money worth that value?

Hwy is a pickle just a cucumber?

Why did they call it pickle?

Who decided what to cal things?

 

 

That’s it folks, I’ve done all the writing that I can think to do tonight, I can’t keep babbling on about random nothingness, like banana peppers are good for plugging holes in your boat to keepe the cottage cheese monster from getting into your vessel.

 

 

Welp goodnight.

George

The Daily Grind Day 14: Under the Weather and over the top

Hey all, still feeling like hell here, good thing I see a doc tomorrow. Until then however...

 

 

 

The Daily Grind Day 13: Still sick

Hey guys, I'm still feeling like hell here. I'll hopefully be back up to full capacity in the next day or so. In the meantime, new picture.

The Daily Grind Day 12: Nothing.

Dear loyal readers,

I have nothing for you today. I'm feeling incredibly under the weather and run down. Not to mention my back feels like someone ran a sledgehammer into it.
So tune in tomorrow folks.

Goodnight,
George

The Daily Grind Day 11: Short and Simple

Today I'm going to skip all the filler nonsense and leave you with a simple message.

 

Don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do, decide for yourself by doing and failing. From failure comes learning, and from learning comes the knowledge you need to succeed. I said it before, the only who is standing in your way of you doing what it is that you want, is looking back at you in the mirror.

 

 

George.

The Daily Grind Day 9: the first stumble in writing.

Alright, so now that I've waited until damn near the last minute for todays post.I remember why I did so, I have nothing to talk about. I spent most of my day running around to different forms of medical offices trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my back. 

So my dear readers, I apologize for the lack of anything substantial in today's post. It's been a long, painful day. 

Highlights of today consisted of,

• my elderly Hispanic doctor molestering my ass while trying to get my vertebrae back into alignment. 
• I wore paper shorts, and was thoroughly entertained by them

Tomorrow, I will be back on track. 

George

The Daily Grind Day 8

It’s funny how sometimes a certain event or injury can trigger such a strong emotion, for some it could be the loss of an acquaintance, for others it could be a great amount of pain that causes you not to be able to do anything. For me it’s the latter, and today’s topic.

 

This is the now the 4^th time I’ve thrown my back out in the last year and a half, and the worst of all 4. The last 3 times I took a muscle relaxer, a couple of days off work for rest, and a heating pad and I was fine. This time however, I tried that and it didn’t work. I went to physical therapy, that didn’t help either. I tried 2 different anti inflammatory meds no help there either, the muscle relaxers have long since stopped helping leaving me to be in constant pain and limiting me from standing for any more than 5 minutes at a time really. Which you may think, “oh it’s not that bad”. Well it’s been almost a month since this happened, it’s getting old, and it’s dragging me down with it.

                The crazy array of emotions that I go through on a daily basis lately honestly scares the hell out of me. One minute I’m depressed, the next I’m happy as can be, rinse and repeat. The fact that I can’t help make dinner, or take out the trash, or help carry in groceries makes me feel bad enough, the worse part however is that simply bending over to tie my shoe, or pick something that I dropped up off the ground is something that I struggle with when a month ago it wasn’t an issue, terrifies me. I see what one of my friends is going through with their back, and when the doctors tell me that it’s muscular and that it’ll go away within a week or two, and now I’m a month into this, and it’s getting worse scares the living hell out of me. I’m really starting to think that it’s not a muscular issue and we’ll find out tomorrow what Dr Number 3 says it is. The thought of it being something more serious and me having to miss MORE work,  and being able to do less to help around the house, has spun me into one of the biggest depressed states of mind that I’ve been in in almost 10 years.  I have never felt so, I don’t even know, helpless? I guess, for lack of a better explanation of how I’m feeling.               

                I don’t know how to beat this, I can surround myself with as many good people, and as many good things as I possibly can, and yet I still feel uneasy about this, I’m still really downtrodden because it feels like I can’t do anything. I know this has to be incredibly frustrating for those around me who interact with me more so than anyone else, I.E my co-workers, my managers, my roommate, and most of all my future wife. These thoughts of how much I must be frustrating them only seem to drag me down further into the darkest pit of this nonsense called depression.

                For those that have known me for a long time, you know that I don’t like feeling or being helpless, you know I don’t often ask for help, advice yes help…no to a fault, I admit it. This, this is where my own insecurities with asking other people to  help me gets me in trouble. It’s because that I have a hard time asking for help that I feel the way that I do to a certain extent. It’s the reason I probably waited way too long to see a doctor, I hate doctors (but that’s an entirely different post all together, maybe tomorrow? Who knows) so I didn’t bother to find a doctor until I was way past when I probably should have. I feel like the worse person in the world asking my future wife for help, although if I knew she had a problem with helping me then we probably wouldn’t be engaged, right? Yet I still can’t bring myself to ask her for help 90% of the time.   

                Here’s the deal okay, I have NOTHING for which to enrich the lives of others with tonight. Tonight’s post was for me, it was so that I could get what was on my mind off it, and on to paper and out of my head. I couldn’t  torture myself with these thoughts for another day without going off the deep end.

 

So my dear readers, I leave you with this quote from Sir Winston Churchill

” Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.”

 

 

Until tomorrow…

George.